How to Be A Wife of Noble Character in Today’s World

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A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10

A Wife of Noble Character

Wow. This biblical ideal wife can do everything, it seems! She gardens, cooks, sews clothing for her family and drapes for her home. She helps the needy and is an entrepreneur and she does it all while looking amazing. It’s easy to read this scripture and feel overwhelmed or defeated. I mean, HOW in the world can you do all of that with pets, work, kids and their activities and a needy husband? You may dismiss it altogether thinking that being a Proverbs 31 woman just isn’t feasible in today’s society. 

 

How to Be A Wife of Noble Character in Today's World

 

Well, dear friend, I’m here to tell you that you CAN live a Proverbs 31 life and it is what God wants from us as his daughters. Granted, we don’t have to plant our own fields (hey, we have grocery stores now) or sew your own clothes (hello? Macy’s!), but you can live a godly life pleasing to Him, in the image of the Proverbs 31 woman, in 2018. Now, there’s nothing wrong with planting a garden or sewing your own clothes. I have a huge garden that we enjoy the fruits of every year, but that’s really not what this is all about.

 

Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman

 

You may be wondering what IS a Proverbs 31 woman? Being a Proverbs 31 godly woman is about living a life that is one of ministry. It is putting God first and your husband second and everything, yes, even your children, after that. Living as a Proverbs 31 woman is about being industrious instead of idle.

 

The woman of noble character serves her husband, her family and her community. It’s not about having a perfectly spotless home or wearing the latest fashions. Again, there is nothing wrong with those things, but it is a matter of putting your priorities in order.

 

And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character.” – Ruth 3:11

 

The Bible uses the root word for “virtuous” or ‘excellent” four times to describe women. In one of my favorite books of the Bible, Ruth, Boaz says to Ruth: 11 And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character.” and in Proverbs 12:4 “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”

 

The original Hebrew word for virtuous is Chayil (khah’ – yil). It means a force, an army, strength, able, substance, worthy, capable, strong, valiant. Woah? What? I’m supposed to be strong and valiant, too? Yes, dear one, and you already are. God created you that way.

 

Let’s briefly look at the attributes of the wife of noble character:

 

1. A wife of noble character is worth far more than rubies

This isn’t about physical worth – how much we posses. This is about our identity in Christ. We can’t earn it, we are given it by the grace of God when we believer. Yes, we should emulate the description of the Proverbs 31 woman, but first and foremost, our value and identity are found in Jesus.

 

2. Her husband has full confidence in her.

Her husband has full confidence in her is one of the few lines that directly speak about the husband of the wife of noble character.

 

Our husband’s need to trust us in the big and small things. How we manage the home and the resources God has blessed us with. How we disciple our children. We are to be selfless and reliable.

 

3. She works hard and is both industrious and resourceful

In much of Proverbs 31, specifically verses 13-23, we read of a woman who awakes early, ensures that everyone is properly clothed and fed, takes care of the finances and earns money and even finds time to care for those in need.

 

Basically, she is diligent. The verses don’t say that her home is perfectly neat and clean, but she works hard to handle the responsibilities in and out of the home.

 

In today’s world, you might not need to sew your family’s clothes or milk the cow, but you take care that your family is clothed and fed and that things are (basically) in order.

 

4. She is a loving mother

The woman of noble character is a mother that teaches her children the ways of God. She nurtures them with love and trains them in their faith so they can grow up to be strong, faithful citizens for Christ’s kingdom.

 

A good mom not only has patience to teach life lessons but also knows how discipline well without being too harsh or lenient on our kids as they learn about what it means to live like Christians.

 

5. She is clothed with strength and dignity

Strength here is physical, emotional and spiritual.But, dear friends, we can only find that strength through God. He is strong, when we are weak.

 

A woman of noble character isn’t just strong; she is dignified.

 

Being strong means that often we are tough, but being dignified means that we are gentle and kind as well. It means we get to do life with people, seeing them as people, and showing them love the way God loves us.

 

6. Her words are wise

This woman isn’t just smart; she is wise.

 

A wife of noble character is the type of woman who is able to make smart, wise decisions by relying on the wisdom that comes from above.

 

7. She gives instructions with kindness

Part of this incredible wisdom is the ability to speak in truth and love. This means sharing things that are hard to hear, but doing it firmly and with kindness.

 

8. She works with willing hands

The wife of noble character is a woman who completes the tasks she is given willingly and without complaint. She always keeps her mind on God, singing praise to Him with every task completed.

 

9. She has strong faith in Christ

The woman of noble character is one who serves God with all her heart, mind and soul. She seeks His will for her life and follows the ways he has set out before us in order to do so.

 

10. She is a good steward of her time and resources

The Proverbs 31 wife is thrifty, choosing quality over quantity. She works diligently to complete her daily tasks and does not spend time dwelling on things that do not please the Lord.

 

11. She cares for and serves others

A Virtuous Woman is a woman of love and kindness. One can see this from the way she serves others, her husband, family friends and neighbors with gentle caring spirit. Charity knows no bounds for these women who would do anything to help those in need or even just lend an ear during times when they may be feeling low.

 

12. She is a respectful wife

The Proverbs 31 woman respects her husband, does him good all the days of his life and is trustworthy. A helpmeet she may be but first and foremost a virtuous woman should seek to become the bride of Christ!

 

13. A Wife of Noble Character is a Virtuous Woman

A wife who is virtuous is able to take care of her home, is worthy, strong, serves and loves her husband, is capable and industrious. Most notably, a virtuous wife is what her husband (not any other husband, but HER husband) needs. God created woman to be man’s helper. 

 

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

 

What the ideal woman is for YOUR husband is as unique as he is; Above all, the specifics of how to be a suitable helper to your husband are unique to him and your marriage, the concept is the same – a wife of noble character is her husband’s crown.

She Takes Care of Her Health

The Virtuous Woman takes care of her body, mind and spirit. She cooks healthy food for her family to maintain a balanced diet.

 

 

A Word About Love Languages as the Proverbs 31 Wife

Learning your husband’s love languages and serving him through those love languages is a great way to ensure that you are the Proverbs 31 wife that YOUR husband needs.

 

My husband’s love languages includes gifts and acts of service. This isn’t saying that the only way to make him happy is to buy stuff for him. I’ll pick up his favorite snack at the grocery store or leave him a love note. Your husband may respond to words of affirmation or physical touch. The key is learning what your husband needs from his wife; this Proverbs 31 woman in his life.

 

(For more on the Proverbs 31 woman, see this post on working with willing hands)

 

We were created to be his helpmeet. What does your husband need in a modern Proverbs 31 woman? Have you asked him? I encourage you to pray about this and see what God reveals to you.

 

Certainly, ask your husband what he needs from you. You may learn that what you thought was important to him isn’t and that there are other things that he would rather you do. Husband’s are funny creatures. When I asked my husband this question, he told me how much he appreciates my making his homemade sweet tea. He says that it shows how much I care for him. Really? Who knew that something so small (in my eyes) touched him so much!

 

 

 

What makes your husband unique? How can you be a crown to him and not decay in his bones? What are three things that you know your husband would appreciate you doing that you don’t already do or don’t do very often?

 

If you aren’t sure, spend some time this week asking God to reveal this to you.

 

For more resources on living the Proverbs 31 life, consider these book recommendations below:

 

Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be: A 90-Day Guide to Living the Proverbs 31 Life by Donna Partow

or my book, The Complete Proverbs 31 Wife:  A Verse by Verse Exploration of What it Means to Be a Proverbs 31 Woman in Today’s World.

 

Or check out a different perspective from Mary at Healthy Christian Home.

 

Bible Gateway also has a great commentary on a wife of noble character. You may wish to check it out.

 

Did you ever wonder why the Proverbs 31 woman get a bad rep? Read about it here.

 

In His Love and Mine,

Sue

 

 

 

Susan is a writer, speaker and the creator of Women of Noble Character ministries. She is passionate about helping Christian women deepen their walk with God through Bible study and creative worship and strengthen their marriages.

She lives in rural North Central Missouri with her handsome and hilarious husband and a myriad of dogs, cats and chickens.

Susan runs on Jesus, coffee and not enough sleep.

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21 Comments

  1. I agree! We can be the Proverbs 31 woman. Women make great entrepreneurs. Women who are single can look for a man that is respected like hers is. Married women can have a husband who sings her praises like this man does. Families can raise their children to respect and love their moms like this woman’s. This is one of my favorite teachings from the Bible.

  2. You made Proverbs 31 looks feasible. I always ignored this text as I thought, where in the would I began to become ONE, it’s doable and I was quite harsh to myself to think I don’t even meet 1 tick of this chapter but now I learn that I meet 2-3 of this. I will strive for excellence with God’s help.

  3. I do admire the practicality with the modern day relevance. I’ve always viewed this as an impossible feat for any woman, especially about she cooks and sews for her maids and household; does all this homemade stuff; being an entrepreneur and gardener. I mean, most of us are struggling financially and to think of having it down pat like that, seemed aloof.

    I now understand that it is impossible to be ALL of these things, but actually suggestions that we could apply where possible. Pleasing God and lifting up our mates spiritually and every ‘’ALLY’’, being role models, great patterns to our household and respective communities, is what Proverbs 31 is all about.

    God bless you tremendously for this post.

    JM, Jamaica West Indies

    1. I’m so glad that you have stopped by to share. Each Proverbs 31 woman is unique to her husband. We often forget that. God bless you!

  4. Wow! Thank you so much for writing this. I have always felt discouraged when reading about the Proverbs 31 women because she seems perfect and something that is not attainable for us to be like. I am pleased to have read this and see it discussed in this light showing us ladies how to make it happen.

    1. I’m so happy to hear that. The Proverbs 31 wife in unique to her husband – your marriage, your husband, your Proverbs 31 life! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

  5. I read this and thinking about my wife that she is a faithful person to me but when it comes to when she’s around other people she is easily influence and what other people are doing I don’t completely trust her way like for example she has a sister that is single and likes to go out to places where they serve alcohol beverages and have some girl time and stay out late. I wouldn’t mind if they would go out during the day but at staying out late I believe can it can run into some problems

    1. Hi, Anthony – thank you for writing. I write about this topic in my new book, The God Centered Marriage. Friendships can encroach on a marriage in an unhealthy way. I would start by praying, then talking with her about your feelings. If you want to take a look at the book (which covers friendship, family, money, intimacy and more, you can find it on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/2yD7xPU I will keep you, your wife and your marriage in my prayers!

  6. Thanks for sharing this, I love proverbs 31, and I want to follow that standards, I always feel I am not perfect as a wife, I repent every time I can, because I am worried I make something wrong and I dissapoint God.
    Oh ya could you please pray for me cause I struggling in anxiety sometimes, it comes suddenly. I am from Sumba in Indonesia. God bless you

    1. Hello, Diana! Of course, I will pray for you. None of us are perfect, but we were created exactly the way God wanted us to be and a Proverbs 31 wife is unique to her husband. It’s not a list to check off. Talk to your husband about his expectations and priorities. You may find that they are not as high as you thought. I am praying for you, sister! Thank you for stopping by!

  7. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a Proverbs 31 woman but I’ve wanted God to just transform me and make it easy, instead of me putting in the effort. Thanks for your help in seeing practical ways to make it happen in my home and for my husband. It also helped me come to grips with the impossible standards when I focused on verse 30 “…but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” The secret of a Proverbs 31 woman is her spiritual and practical devotion to God that permeates every area and relationship of her life. This is what is the true foundation for a life which honors God and is valued by our husbands as “far above rubies or pearls”.

    1. Yes, friend! The key is to love and fear the Lord and to remember that each wife is unique to her husband and what a Proverbs 31 wife looks like will vary from marriage to marriage. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  8. Thanks for this.i was actually looking for a resource on Ruth nd Naomi for my Sunday school when I came across this. God bless you richly.
    Yinka
    From Nigeria.

  9. I’m curious, other than Proverbs 31 and Ruth 3, where are the other two places in the Bible that use Chayil in reference to women?

  10. Hi Susan, great article, very well written and thought out. One thing I’d like to point out is, I think it would of been great if you would of talked about how social media or mass media today is making it very difficult for women to be a Proverbs 31 wife. For example, if you look at Instagram or Tiktok its has completely normalized being ‘sexual’ by showing just a “little” skin and other things can lead to sinful behavior. I believe things like that really affect becoming a Proverbs 31 wife… what do you think?

    1. I completely agree. I do mention social media in other posts on verses about the Proverbs 31 woman but it is a good idea to add your thoughts, as well. Thank you and thanks for stopping by!

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