Covenant Eyes – Protecting Your Family From Porn

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“I have made a covenant with my eyes.” – Job 31:1

For men with a porn addiction, they struggle with the same issues as women:

Guilt

No one feels as if viewing pornography is noble. Yes, there are teenagers who believe viewing pornography is “grown up” and may brag about it, or older individuals who view it as “necessary” or “common” and downplay the unrest in their soul. But no one feels like they have done a “virtuous-honoring thing” when they finish viewing pornography.

The result is a sense of guilt–an innate sense that what was done was bad. Guilt produces a decline in mental health and the physiological changes from guilt in the brain can be neurologically demonstrated.

Isolation and shame

The first point has to do with a sense of distance in our relationship with God. This point emphasizes the impact on our social relationships.

A common experience of viewing pornography is carrying a secret. Secrets create distance. We are left wondering, “what would you think of me if you knew.” The result is that even our closest friendships begin to feel superficial or fake.

The depth and quality of our friendships are significant factors in our mental health. Activities that lower the quality or number of our friendships have a negative influence on our mental health.

Crude-Depersonalizing Socialization (People (i.e., actors or models) in pornography are not people to the viewer; they are a collection of features or objects of satisfaction. In a pornographic world, people are not heard, assisted, and loved. People are evaluated, ranked, and consumed. When hours are spent immersed in this world, these values begin to seep in.), 

Avoiding Unpleasant Emotions

One of the primary motives for viewing pornography is to reduce or relieve stress. A passive approach to stress management results in an underdeveloped capacity for managing unpleasant emotions. The less equipped we are to withstand unpleasant emotions, the more overwhelming each experience of anxiety, depression, or other distress becomes.

Add to this the idyllic narratives that are pervasive in pornographic material (the viewer always identifying with the central, pursued character), and the person who regularly views pornography is further conditioned to believe that the day-to-day, normal conflict in life and relationships are unbearable.

One important measure of mental health is our capacity to be resilient in the midst of unpleasant emotions or circumstances. Pornography detracts from this capacity both by serving as an escape from healthily processing unpleasant emotions and reinforcing the belief that these stresses should not exist.

Hyper-Multi-Sensory Stimulation

Mindfulness–the ability to willfully focus one’s attention during adverse circumstances–is a significant contributor to mental health. Pornography is nearly the complete opposite of mindfulness.

Pornography uses sound, sight, and tactile sensation to pull an individual from their actual world into an artificial, fantasy world. Combining multiple senses with an enticing narrative makes it increasingly difficult for less stimulating activities (which is most of life) to hold an individual’s attention.

If the previous point was about unpleasant emotions, this point goes further; now, merely unstimulating activities are increasingly difficult to meaningfully engage for an extended period of time.

Consider how much of basic life management (i.e., budgeting, staying on schedule, honoring commitments, asking good questions in a mundane conversation, etc…) becomes difficult when we condition ourselves to avoid unpleasant emotions and mundane tasks. Then consider how doing a poor job at basic life management tasks negatively impacts one’s mental health.

Time Lost to Constructive Activities

The final point is more about what pornography prevents (indirect impact) than what it does (direct impact). Time spent viewing pornography is time not spent doing something more constructive (i.e., investing in a hobby, talking to a friend, exercising, reading a book, etc…).

The more we invest in things that are meaningful and substantive, the better our mental health will be. Pornography robs many people of the hours in their week when they would invest in these constructive pursuits and gives them nothing in return.

But there is a better way. A way for private and personal accountability. To renew marriages and friendships and a closer fellowship with God.

While sexual sin is not new, online pornography is more widely accepted, accessible, affordable, and anonymous than ever before. According to a 2018 study by the Barna Group, 68% of Christian men and 33% of Christian women view pornography at least once per month. A study of university students found that 93% of boys and 62% of girls had seen Internet pornography during adolescence.

Technology is hastening sexual abuse and exploitation across the globe. The National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE) says, “This reality—combined with a toxic deluge of pop culture messages normalizing harmful attitudes and behaviors—is rapidly transforming forms of sexual abuse, violence, and exploitation from the intolerable to the fashionable and ‘normal.’” – From Covenant Eyes website

 

Sadly, so many of our youth are exposed to porn or semi-porn images at younger and younger ages. Here’s a post from a mom of six with her tips for technology monitoring and keeping her kids accountable. It’s a good read if you have kids of any age living at home.

How Covenant Eyes Help:

• Risk-free for 30 days. 100 % money-back guarantee

About Covenant Eyes:

Located in Owosso, Michigan, Covenant Eyes is the pioneer of Internet and Screen Accountability™ software, empowering members to maintain their online integrity. Over 100,000,000 Covenant Eyes accountability reports have generated 18 years of conversation-based accountability. Covenant Eyes is the most significant corporate force in cultural recognition of the public health crisis of pornography and sex trafficking.

For women:  It is their hope that providing a landing page tailored to women, will provide a sense of comfort and boost of confidence that helps you understand you are not alone in this fight.

If you know someone battling porn addiction or want to ensure that your children aren’t snared by this sin, I highly recommend Covenant Eyes as I’ve seen how powerful and effective it is.

I’m praying for you and those around you that need this accountability.

Because of Him,

Sue