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Her husband has full confidence in her. At first read of Proverbs 31:10-31, it may be easy to overlook this verse. In fact, the verse only indirectly mentions the Proverbs 31 woman. Instead, it tells us that her husband has full confidence in her (TRUSTS her) and lacks nothing of value.
What an incredible testimony to the character of this godly woman! (To learn more about what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman, read this post HERE)
An In-Depth Look at Proverbs 31:21
Let’s take a closer look at this verse. The ESV translation reads:
The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. – Proverbs 31:21
Now let’s examine some of the words from within the verse: (the below is from Strong’s Concordance)
Heart – Strong’s 3820 – לב – leb = the heart; figuratively used widely for the feelings, the will, and even the intellect. Also translated mind, understanding, wisdom.
Trust – Strong’s 982 – בּטח – batach = to hasten toward refuge; figuratively to trust, be confident, be secure in, be sure. The KJV says “doth safely trust in her.”
What do we see? A woman who evokes her husband’s complete confidence in her, not only in the way she manages their home and raises their children, but in their relationship as well. She doesn’t use her strengths and abilities to try to undermine him, but to strengthen the unity between them.
What does she do specifically to possess this trust? Scripture gives a few details:
Verse 11 tells us he has no lack of gain. The NIV words it, “he lacks nothing of value”. Perhaps, it is because of how well she manages their money, or because he’s so content with their relationship that he has no desire to chase after anything else. At the very least we see that he is content with their lifestyle as well as their relationship.
How a Godly Wife Can Stumble
When a man marries a woman, he risks his heart (as well as reputation, social and financial standing, and more) She can break his heart by giving her body or love to another (For example, in Numbers 5:11-31).
In addition, she can betray him through lack of adoration or sexual fulfillment.
But when the attendants delivered the king’s command, Queen Vashti refused to come. Then the king became furious and burned with anger. – Esther 1:12
Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
She can be a lazy woman and allow the house or family to suffer.
The wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. – Proverbs 14:1
Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. – Ezekiel 16:49
She can be rude, confrontational or even shameful in private or in public.
A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. – Proverb 12:4
A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping
of a leaky roof in a rainstorm;
restraining her is like restraining the wind
or grasping oil with the hand. – Proverbs 27:15-16
How a Woman of Noble Character Can Allow Her Husband to Trust Her
However, a man who is married to a virtuous woman, a woman who fears God and lives righteously, has his mind and heart totally at rest. The husband is completely confident in how his wife thinks and what she does.A man who is married to a virtuous woman, a woman who fears God and lives righteously, has his mind and heart totally at rest. The husband is completely confident in how his wife thinks and what she does.
her husband also, and he praises her:
but you surpass them all.”
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. – Proverbs 31:28-31
Proverbs 31:28-31 as well as Proverbs 31:11, demonstrate the ideal marriage for a man (and woman). A woman without these attributes is likely to disappoint or fall short through several sins, as discussed above.
A godly woman, however, fully submits to her husband in all things.
Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. – Ephesians 5:22-24
(If you are interested in diving deep into Ephesians, consider my course, Kneel Before the Throne: An In-Depth Study on the Book of Ephesians)
Proverbs 31:11’s emphasis is on domestic trust. The remainder of Proverbs 31:10-31 focuses entirely on the woman of noble character’s diligence, productivity and character traits when it comes to managing the home and the resources God has blessed them with.
The priority in a godly woman’s life is to serve the family and home. From the beginning, Eve was created to help Adam (Genesis 2:18).
When a man is away at work, He is confident that the house will run smoothly. When he is home, he doesn’t have to worry about the house or children. She also is diligent to manage the family resources through investment or work.
A godly woman is the keeper at home. The home and family are her priority and responsibility (of course, many men will help with this, too)
She is to avoid any foolish distractions away from it (hello, Facebook lol).
Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. 14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. – 1 Timothy 5:13-14
to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. – Titus 2:5
The Proverbs 31 wife keeps her home organized, neat and clean (I’m not condemning you, if this isn’t you, but it is something we should strive for)
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple. – Proverbs 31:22
Her husband is proud when he has friends or associates over and feels rest and peace when he gets home from work.
A Christian woman does not allow her work, family, or even ministry to get in the way of what a Christian home should look like. It should be an attractive, comfortable, neat, orderly, pleasant, and warm place to live or show hospitality.
The Bride of Christ as the Proverbs 31 Woman
The godly wife doesn’t expect her husband to meet all her needs. She doesn’t pressure him to keep up with the Jones’ but is satisfied with what he provides.
She knows that Christ is the only one who can completely satisfy her, and she finds her fulfillment and joy in Jesus instead of looking for it in her husband. She faithfully teaches all of this to the children they are blessed with; for their hope and trust is in Christ alone.
Of course, the Bible teaches us that the church is the bride of Jesus Christ. Each believer is also. in a similar way, the wife of God’s Son. Does His heart fully trust in you that you care only about Him and the things of His kingdom, or does He know you are often distracted pursuing worldly interests? Must He find others to provide the needs of His church and kingdom because you are lazy or selfish, or does He know you will do all expected and more.
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. – 1 Corinthians 15:10
What are some other ways that “Her Husband Has Full Confidence in Her”?
If asked, would your husband say that he has full confidence in you? In how you manage the home and raise the children? In how you steward the family budget? In how you speak to others? That he can count on you to do what you say you will do? If so, well done, my friend. You are a crown to your husband.
Most of us, however, come up short in at least one area. Although my husband assures me that he does trust me and he doesn’t feel that he is lacking anything (He tells me that he has all he needs with God and me!), while studying this verse, God has, indeed, convicted me of something that I feel relates to my husband’s confidence in me: How I handle stress.
Today, was a rough day. I had website issues galore (Praise God they are fixed now!) and some work issues, too. I was stressed and short-tempered. I didn’t lash out at my husband, but, instead, rebuffed his attempts to calm and comfort me. How can my husband have full confidence in me when he feels he must walk on eggshells around me? I’m certainly not proud of this but am kneeling before God in thanksgiving that He has made this known to me. I intend to focus on this weakness, pray about it and work hard to correct it. My husband deserves better and so does our Heavenly Father.
What about you? Her Husband Has Full Confidence in Her, Does Yours?
If you don’t know, ask him. If you are aware of an area that you can improve – either because your husband has shared it with you or God has revealed it to you, ask God to shine a light on that area. Thank Him for revealing it to you and spend some time in prayer asking Him to help you change.
Prayer for the Proverbs 31:21 Wife
I pray Proverbs 31:11-12 over my life. My prayer is to be the best wife to my husband that I can be. The way you designed me to be. Father God, I pray that my husband would have full trust and confidence in me. Lord, help me manage my household, family and finances with diligence, so that my husband lacks nothing. I pray that I add joy and fulfillment to his life. I pray that I bring him happiness, comfort, and encouragement. I pray that I value his interest as much as I value my own, and that I always remain thankful for all that he does for me and our family. Lord, help me be an exceptional wife to my husband, all the days of my life.
In Jesus Name,
In the comments, if you feel so led, share with me an area that you feel you could improve on to ensure that your husband has full confidence in you. I’d truly love to hear from you.
If you want to dig deeper, check out my book, The Complete Proverbs 31 Wife: A Verse by Verse Exploration of What it Means to Be a Proverbs 31 Woman in Today’s World.