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Learning how to be a godly wife involves understanding and applying biblical principles in your marriage. It involves loving, respecting, and submitting to your husband. It involves supporting and empowering your husband in his role as the head of the family. It also involves nurturing your marriage through acts of love, effective conflict resolution, and prayer. Despite what the world may teach, being a godly wife is not about being perfect, but about striving for excellence, walking the biblical path, and daily cultivating a noble character.
In today’s society, the concept of a “good wife” is often skewed from the biblical perspective. The world may tell you that a good wife should be entirely independent, not needing or wanting her husband’s input in decision-making. While independence is not a bad thing, it can lead to an imbalance within the marital relationship. From the biblical viewpoint, a wife should maintain a balance of independence and interdependence. She should be able to think for herself, but also be willing to depend on and lean on her husband.
The world might also view a good wife as someone who always puts her needs last, ignoring her own desires and dreams to cater to those of her husband and family. This belief contradicts the biblical teaching that a wife is a valuable individual, created in God’s image, with her own unique gifts, talents, and callings. She is not merely a helper or servant but a partner and co-heir with her husband in God’s kingdom.
Sadly, the world often promotes a competitive mindset between husbands and wives, encouraging them to outdo each other or compare their contributions to the marriage. This competitive spirit can breed resentment, misunderstanding, and strife. Yet, the Bible teaches us that a wife and her husband are one flesh, working together for the common good of their family and the glory of God.
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What Does the Bible Teach About How to Be a Godly Wife: Exegesis of Being a Wife
The Bible provides clear and timeless principles on the kind of wife a woman should strive to be. With its focus on love, respect, and mutual submission, the Bible’s teachings on marriage are as relevant today as they were thousands of years ago.
The Bible consistently emphasizes the importance of love in marriage. Wives are instructed to love their husbands and children (Titus 2:4). This love is not merely emotional or romantic; it is a choice, a commitment to seek the best for one’s spouse, even when it’s challenging.
Respect is another crucial aspect of being a good wife according to biblical standards. Ephesians 5:33 instructs wives to respect their husbands. Respect involves recognizing and affirming your husband’s leadership, worth, and value.
The principle of mutual submission is a radical and often misunderstood biblical concept. Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This mutual submission means that both husbands and wives are to put the other’s needs, desires, and well-being above their own. For wives, this may involve supporting their husbands’ leadership in the family while expecting love and consideration in return.
Striving to be an excellent wife requires practical, everyday actions. Firstly, communication is key. A wife should engage in open, honest, and respectful communication with her husband, expressing her thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly.
Secondly, an excellent wife should always seek to understand her husband. Each person is unique, with different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. A wife should strive to understand her husband’s views, emotions, and reactions, even when they differ from her own.
Lastly, an excellent wife should prioritize her relationship with God. Her relationship with her husband should be a reflection of her relationship with God. A wife who spends time in prayer and God’s word will be better equipped to love, respect, and submit to her husband.
Walking the biblical path of a wife involves daily choices and actions. Here are a few actionable tips:
- Spend time in God’s word: Regular Bible study will help you understand God’s design for marriage and the role of a wife.
- Pray for your husband: Praying for your husband daily will not only benefit him but also help you maintain a loving and respectful attitude towards him.
- Show respect: Show respect to your husband in your words and actions. Affirm his worth and value to him and others.
- Love unconditionally: Choose to love your husband, even when he disappoints or hurts you. Unconditional love reflects God’s love for us.
Proverbs 31 describes the wife of noble character. She is a woman of strength, wisdom, and kindness. She is diligent, trustworthy, and fears the Lord. To cultivate such a noble character, here are some daily practices:
- Seek wisdom: Regularly spend time in God’s word and prayer, asking God for wisdom.
- Practice kindness: Show kindness to your husband, children, and those around you. Let your words and actions reflect the love of Christ.
- Be diligent: In whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord (Colossians 3:23).
The Bible teaches that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23). Supporting your husband’s leadership does not mean blind submission or neglecting your own thoughts and opinions. It means acknowledging his role as the leader of the family, respecting his decisions, and helping him fulfill his role.
You can support your husband’s leadership by encouraging him, respecting his decisions, and offering your input in a respectful and loving manner. Pray for him regularly, asking God to grant him wisdom and guidance in leading your family.
Understanding your role as the wife in the headship of the family involves recognizing your husband’s God-given role and using your influence to empower him. Encourage your husband in his endeavors, affirm his capabilities, and remind him of God’s faithfulness and promises.
Remember, empowering your husband does not mean suppressing your own gifts or abilities. It means leveraging them to support your husband and strengthen your marriage. Your role as a wife is not inferior to your husband’s; it is different but equally important.
Nurturing romance in your Christian marriage involves intentional acts of love. These acts of love are not always grand gestures; they can be simple, everyday actions that communicate your love for your husband.
Acts of love can be as simple as preparing your husband’s favorite meal, leaving him a loving note, or taking time to listen to him after a long day. Other acts of love may involve planning a special date night, surprising him with a thoughtful gift, or expressing your love and appreciation verbally.
Remember, the goal is not to impress your husband, but to express your love for him in ways that resonate with him.
Conflicts are inevitable in marriage. However, how you handle conflicts can either strengthen or weaken your marriage. Here are some biblical principles for conflict resolution:
- Speak the truth in love: Be honest about your feelings, but express them in a loving and respectful manner (Ephesians 4:15).
- Be quick to listen and slow to speak: Seek to understand before being understood (James 1:19).
- Forgive as God forgave you: Don’t hold grudges or keep a record of wrongs. Choose to forgive and move forward (Ephesians 4:32, 1 Corinthians 13:5).
Prayer is a powerful tool for nurturing your Christian marriage. Praying for your husband and your marriage can bring about divine intervention and transformation. Prayer can also strengthen your relationship with God, which in turn will strengthen your marriage.
Pray for your husband’s spiritual growth, wisdom, and strength. Pray for unity, love, and understanding in your marriage. Pray for God’s guidance in your roles as a husband and wife. And remember, prayer is not just about asking God for things; it’s also about listening to God and aligning your heart with His.
The Bible teaches us that being a godly wife involves a lot of hard work, from showing our man unconditional love to continually seeking the Lord’s guidance. We must also use our God-given gifts to nurture our marriage and help our husband in both word and deed. By following these steps, we can be confident that we’re being the best godly wife that we can be.
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Although it’s impossible to be perfect, we believe wholeheartedly that by seeking God’s will for our lives, we can cultivate a marriage that honors Him. As Proverbs 12:4 states, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” Let us be wives who bring honor and glory to our husbands.
You may enjoy this video on how to be a godly wife Bible studies by Wendy Bender.
Or one of these recommended resources:
Lord, Prepare Me to Be a Godly Wife by Tiffany Langford
Be the wife who…: (How to be a Godly wife in an ungodly world) by Amber Ingram
The Beautiful Wife: Focused on Christ, Fulfilled in Marriage by Sandy Ralya
Introducing Felice Mathieu, a seasoned expert in Christian marriage and family coaching boasting over 25 years of invaluable experience. With a B.A. in Christian Counseling Psychology and a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, Felice, alongside his wife of 14 years established Marriage Sharing. Their noble mission? To guide families towards wholeness through the power of biblical coaching, championing fair and respectful communication between couples. Ready to deeply work on the #1 in marriage? Let’s embark on this journey together. Contact us to start your transformative experience with Marriage Sharing.
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