What Does It Mean to Be a Submissive Wife in Christian Marriage?

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For many Christian women, the term “submissive wife” may spark a mix of emotions—curiosity, hesitation, or even concern. So, what does it truly mean to live as a submissive wife in Christian marriage?

In today’s culture, submission can often be misunderstood or viewed negatively. But biblically, submission is a God-given design for a healthy, Christ-centered marriage that strengthens both partners in faith and love. Rather than being about limitation, biblical submission allows for a deeper relationship with God and one’s spouse, bringing peace and unity.

Let’s explore together the true meaning of being a submissive wife, qualities of biblical submission, and practical steps for integrating it into daily life.

Understanding Submission in Christian Marriage

Before diving into the details of what a submissive wife looks like, let’s first clarify what biblical submission means in Christian marriage. Ephesians 5:22-24 is often cited as a foundational text on this topic:

In Christian marriage, submission is about willing respect, trust, and partnership under godly leadership, rather than losing one’s voice or identity. Just as Christ submitted to God the Father out of love and humility, so a submissive wife chooses to follow her husband’s leadership out of a heart of love and respect. This type of submission strengthens a marriage and glorifies God.

Reader Reflection: What questions do you have about biblical submission in marriage? How does this concept of respectful partnership resonate with you?

Dispelling Myths and Misconceptions About Being a Submissive Wife

The idea of submission can bring with it misconceptions that may keep women from embracing this beautiful, biblical design for marriage. Let’s address some common myths surrounding the role of a submissive wife and counter them with biblical truth.

Myth #1: Submission Means Weakness

One of the biggest myths about submission is that it means passivity or weakness. However, submission in marriage requires inner strength, self-control, and courage. Far from being weak, a submissive wife is one who actively chooses to support her husband while standing strong in her faith.

Myth #2: Submission Means Agreeing with Everything

Some people think submission means a wife must agree with her husband on every matter without expressing her own opinions. However, a healthy marriage is a partnership where both voices matter. Submission includes respecting each other’s perspectives while making decisions in unity, through mutual respect.

Myth #3: Submission Means Losing Your Value or Identity

A submissive wife does not lose her identity but is, rather, valued deeply for who she is. God has uniquely created each of us, and our distinct strengths and talents bring beauty to our marriage. Submission involves confidence in who we are in Christ and a recognition of our God-given worth.

Reader Reflection: Which myth about submission challenges you the most? How might seeing submission through God’s lens change your perspective?

Qualities of a Submissive Wife in Christian Marriage

What does biblical submission look like in daily life? There are several qualities that help foster a strong, loving partnership in marriage.

Respectful
The foundation of submission is respect, as seen in Ephesians 5:33:

Respect can take the form of listening, honoring his opinions, and speaking kindly about him in private and public.

Patient
Patience allows a wife to trust God’s timing and wisdom. Psalm 37:7 reminds us to “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” Practicing patience, especially in disagreements, fosters peace and unity within marriage.

Graceful
A submissive wife offers grace to her husband in moments of tension or misunderstanding. Proverbs 31:26 states, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Grace allows us to forgive and love each other as Christ loves us.

Prayerful
A wife who practices submission prays fervently for her husband and her marriage. She seeks God’s guidance and asks for wisdom in supporting her husband. Prayer is a powerful way to grow in unity with one another and God.

Reader Reflection: Which of these qualities stands out most to you as something you’d like to grow in? How might God be calling you to practice it in your marriage?

Practical Ways to Embrace Submission in Your Daily Life

Submission may sound like an abstract idea, but it can be woven into everyday actions that express love and support.

Pray for Your Husband
Prayer is one of the most impactful ways to support and honor your husband. Regularly lift him up to God, asking for strength, wisdom, and guidance in his decisions. Starting each day with prayer can set a positive tone, reminding you of your unity in Christ.

You can pray the following prayer if you don’t know quite what to say:

Listen with Compassion
Listening carefully to your husband’s thoughts and feelings is a beautiful act of love and respect. It shows him that his perspective matters and builds trust in the relationship.

Speak Words of Encouragement
Words can build up or tear down. Proverbs 18:21 tells us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Speak words that uplift and strengthen your husband, showing him that you believe in his calling and trust in his leadership.

Seek God’s Wisdom
Submission does not mean you will not face challenges. Lean on God’s wisdom to handle difficulties with grace and strength. When you seek God’s direction (Proverbs 3:5-6), you can navigate challenges with a peace that only He can provide.

Reader Reflection: Which practical action resonates most with you? How might incorporating this step change your relationship with your husband?

Biblical Foundations for Submissive Wives in Marriage

Understanding submission requires grounding ourselves in Scripture. Here are a few Bible verses that provide insight into God’s design for submission within marriage:

1. Ephesians 5:21
“Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
This verse reminds us that submission is a mutual calling, rooted in our respect and love for Jesus. It is about honoring one another in love and humility.

2. 1 Peter 3:7
“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
This verse shows that, while wives are called to submit, husbands are called to honor and respect their wives, understanding that both partners are equal heirs of God’s grace.

3. Colossians 3:18-19
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
This passage balances the roles of both spouses, showing that a loving and harmonious marriage involves respect and gentleness from both sides.

4. Proverbs 31:11-12
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”
While not directly mentioning submission, this verse describes the Proverbs 31 woman’s faithfulness and respect toward her husband, qualities that build trust and strengthen their bond.

5. Titus 2:3-5
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
This passage encourages older women to mentor younger women, showing them the blessings of love, kindness, and submission in marriage as a witness to God’s truth.

6. Philippians 2:3-4
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Although not specifically about marriage, this verse speaks to the heart of submission in any relationship: placing the needs and well-being of others above our own in humility.

7. James 4:7
“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
This verse is about submission to God, reminding us that yielding to His authority is a powerful act that strengthens us against temptation and draws us closer to His will.

Each of these verses emphasizes that submission is rooted in love, respect, and a desire to reflect God’s heart in all our relationships.

Reader Reflection: How do these verses impact your view of submission? What might God be teaching you through them?

Submission and Mutual Love in a Godly Marriage

In a Christ-centered marriage, submission is balanced with mutual love and respect. Ephesians 5:25-28 calls husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” As we have seen, just as wives are called to honor their husbands, husbands are also called to love their wives sacrificially. When both husband and wife honor this balance, they create a strong, loving partnership that glorifies God.

Reader Reflection: How does understanding mutual love and respect change the way you see submission in marriage?

Addressing Common Challenges with Biblical Submission

There will be moments when submission feels challenging, but remember that it is part of a journey of growth and trust. In these times, we can find strength in Proverbs 3:5:

When we rely on God’s strength, He gives us the grace to practice submission with love and faith.

Reader Reflection: What challenge do you find most difficult? How can you ask God to help you in this area?

Final Encouragement: Embracing Submission as a Path to Deeper Faith

Biblical submission is a journey, not a destination. It allows us to draw closer to God and our husbands, creating a stronger foundation of faith and love. When we embrace this role, we reflect God’s design for marriage. Submission is a beautiful way to strengthen our marriage while growing in trust and faith.

As you walk this path, remember that you are not alone. God is with you, guiding and equipping you every step of the way.

Reader Reflection: How do you feel about submission as part of your faith journey? What step will you take to embrace it in your life?

FAQs

What if my husband does not share my faith?
If your husband is not a believer, submission can still be a powerful example of Christ’s love. 1 Peter 3:1-2 encourages wives in this situation to demonstrate Christ’s character through respectful and pure conduct, which can influence their husbands in a positive way. Pray regularly for his heart and for God’s guidance in your marriage.

Can I be a submissive wife and still have my own opinions?
Absolutely. Being a submissive wife does not mean giving up your thoughts or opinions and it doesn’t mean you never express disagreement. God created you with a mind and spirit that contribute to your marriage. Submission in a healthy, godly marriage includes sharing your views and insights while working together in harmony.

How can I practice submission if my husband makes decisions I disagree with?
Submission does not mean blindly agreeing with every decision. It means approaching disagreements with respect and a willingness to pray together, listen, and communicate. In situations where agreement is not possible, trust in God’s guidance and keep an open heart for His direction.

A Final Note:

Embracing biblical submission can transform your marriage and deepen your relationship with Christ. Submission is about trust, respect, and unity in your partnership with your husband. I invite you to share your own thoughts and questions about biblical submission in the comments below. What has been your experience, and how have you seen God working in your marriage?

If this post encouraged you, please consider sharing it on social media or subscribing to our newsletter for more insights and encouragement. Let’s continue to walk this journey together, supporting each other as we grow in faith.

Reflection Questions

As you consider the meaning of biblical submission and its role in your marriage, take a moment to reflect on how God may be inviting you to grow through this journey. Submission is not about perfection but about seeking God’s heart and allowing His Spirit to shape us in love, respect, and humility.

The questions below are designed to help you think deeply about your relationship with your husband and your walk with Christ. Ask God to guide your thoughts as you explore how biblical submission can enrich your faith and strengthen your marriage.

• How do I feel about the idea of biblical submission, and what might God be teaching me through these feelings?
• In what ways can I encourage and support my husband’s leadership in our marriage?
• Are there specific areas in my marriage where I find it difficult to practice submission? How can I invite God’s guidance in these areas?
• How does my relationship with Christ influence the way I approach submission in my marriage?
• What qualities from a biblical submissive wife (such as respect, patience, or grace) would I like to grow in, and what steps can I take this week to start?
• How can I make prayer a more central part of my support for my husband and our marriage?
• How might embracing biblical submission in my marriage impact my witness to others, especially those who may not share my faith?

ESV  –  “Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”