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Christian parenting, in fact, any parenting, is a difficult, although rewarding job. The main call of Christian parents is to raise their children up in the Christian faith so that, by God’s grace, they may become strong disciples of Christ themselves. This responsibility is huge!
Here are a few foundational practices to implement in your family life and parenting journey as you raise the next generation of the Church.
Christian Parenting: 3 Essential Tips
1. Stick to a Biblical Worldview
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Romans 12:2 (ESV)
A worldview is quite self-explanatory. It is quite literally a person’s view or perspective on the world. This perspective “informs how they see the world, their place in it, and the personal standards to which they hold themselves.”
Every person comes from a different background with different experiences that shape their worldview. That means that you and your husband probably have differing worldviews. The one that brings all Christians together is the call to maintain a biblical or Christian worldview based on godly values.
No matter what ideas you have entered the parenting journey with, you must strive for this biblical worldview. Your thoughts and attitude toward the world, as well as your decisions, will be based on your worldview. If we are to be like Christ in our thoughts, attitudes, and decisions, we must be driven by a Christian worldview based on biblical principles.
Think back to your own childhood. How did your parent’s attitudes and decisions affect your own? Probably a lot! In the same way, will yours affect your own children? If you truly want to raise them up in the Christian faith, you must be driven in everything by a biblical worldview, even if it means dying to yourself daily.
2. Know Your Role
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior… Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
Ephesians 5:22-23, 25 (ESV)
Christian parenting is a team effort between a husband and wife who have now become a mother and father. God designed family life to look a certain way, each member having their own important role.
As it is laid out in Ephesians by the apostle Paul, marriage is meant to resemble the relationship between Christ and the Church. The Husband leads as the head of the household, loving his wife and giving himself up for her as Christ loved the Church. Wives are to submit to their husband as the leader, showing him respect.
This is crucial in raising the next generation of the Church. Your children may have much less experience than you, but they are not dumb. They will see the dynamics of your relationship and how it reflects God’s design or does not.
Raising your kids to be disciples of Christ means raising them to live within God’s perfect design. This starts in your marriage!
Not only do the husband and wife, father and mother, have important roles laid out in God’s word, but so do the children.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you in the land.”
Ephesians 6:1-3 (ESV)
Speak this scripture into your children’s hearts! Not with the purpose of pushing them into blind obedience to you, to make your life easier, but to teach them to obey God, which is the ultimate responsibility we take on as Christian parents!
Don’t leave out the second part, where it says “that it may go well with you in the land,” because it is important for young children to recognize God not just as this authority figure that barks out commands at us but a Heavenly Father who wants nothing but the absolute best for us as his beloved children. It is so important for our children to understand the full picture of God, not just God’s wrath but God’s love as well.
Lastly, this piece of scripture ends with a command directly to fathers.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Ephesians 6:4 (ESV)
Christian parenting is going to be difficult. Just like you were, your children were born with a sin nature, and if they do not yet have a personal relationship with God, they still operate within that state of sin.
The form you have selected does not exist.
But again, the full picture of God does not stop at his wrath. We are to be the primary example of God’s love for our children. If fathers did nothing but yell at and diminish their kids while claiming to be followers of Jesus, then their kids would associate obedience to God with the negative emotions attached to the yelling and diminishing.
Instead, fathers are to teach their children what it truly means to follow the instruction of the Lord. Remember, wives are to submit to the husband’s leadership over the household, so this means that mother’s are to come alongside and aid the father in this teaching and instruction, not contradicting it or going their own way.
It is important for Christian parents to discuss and agree on what this is going to look like for their family ahead of time instead of stumbling along the way as things happen in their parenting journey.
“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.”
1 John 5:14-15 (ESV)
The most powerful and impactful thing Christian parents can do for their children is pray for them. No matter what efforts you put in, they will be saved by God’s grace and His grace alone.
That does not relieve you of your responsibilities to train them in the ways of the Heavenly Father, but adds even more. Pray that your children would experience the grace and mercy of God through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Pray that you would exemplify that love and sacrifice in everything you do. Pray for God’s protection over your children’s lives as they find their way in a world so opposed to the Christian faith.
Christian parenting is no easy feat, but it is the most important role a person can play in the church’s mission, as God commands in Matthew 28.
Go therefore and make disciples of nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:19-20 (ESV)
This starts in the home. It is not the responsibility of the Sunday school teacher to disciple your kids. Christian parenting is not for the parents to have fun with their little mini-me’s, or even just to raise an acceptable member of society, although those are good things. It is for growing the Kingdom of God, and infiltrating the evil of the world with strong, passionate, and obedient followers of Jesus.
While parenting and marriage are hard, parenting conflicts don’t have to cause problems in your marriage. Above all, pray for your children, pray for your husband, and seek God first in all of your parenting decisions.
You may enjoy this video on how to raise children who love God.
There are some great books on Christian parenting that provide godly counsel. Here are my top recommendations:
Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively by Gary Chapman, Ross Campbell
Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst by Karis Kimmel Murray
Parenting With Love And Logic by Foster Cline
For more on raising godly children in a broken world through Christian parenting, check out this previous post. Or, for raising compassionate kids in a social media world, see this one.
Did you know that Woman of Noble Character has a shop? Yes! We have an awesome array of printables, including matching games and 30 days of prayer for kids, plus more! Check it out here or by clicking the image below.
For more on Christian marriage, consider my book, The God-Centered Marriage.
Because of Him,
Sue
ESV – “Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”